Dreams vs. Goals
So we have a new month, April, upon us. Thirty new days of new chances. Thirty new days this month for new happiness, and more happiness, more moving, more health, more sleep, more laughter – less stress, less stuff, less waste, less plastic.
Several clients have asked what’s the difference between dreams and goals?
If we don’t have a goal, it is incredibly hard to get what you want and need out of life, let alone fulfilled and happy. We can’t dream about what we want and our goals cannot conflict with one another…and most importantly of all, our goals cannot be in conflict with our core values.
When you consider these issues, what you are sorting out is: Who are you, really? At your very core, what are your values? What are your non-negotiable needs and values? What will you not even agree to compromise (or shouldn’t)?
In my field, this is called “Integrated Thinking”. We, therapists, work on this with our clients so that conflicts won’t sabotage the time and work put into figuring out your goals. If your daily conversations, actions, and thinking are not carefully integrated, then your life, employment, and relationships can be chaotic and may be going nowhere.
When your actions, thoughts and even your words take you closer to what you really want, while staying true to your values of who you are and who you want to be, then you are closer every day to a truly happy life – if not living it already.
If they are not, then you know what to do.
But…it helps to review your actions every day and assess if they’re in line with who you need to be, to be happy. “The unexamined life is not worth living.” – said Socrates, in Plato, Dialogues, Apology, the Greek philosopher in Athens (469 BC – 399 BC). This is a truth known and taught centuries ago.
Often, figuring out your core values takes as much time and careful thought as listing the goals you want to achieve.
Sharon Valentino, LMFT, Psychotherapist, Behavioral Health
Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.
CA LMFT, Masters RAS, CATC level IV, ChT
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (51746)
Serving individuals & couples in the San Francisco Bay Area
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