Narrative Therapy — Your Life Story

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Narrative Therapy — Your Life Story

– The Past, Present, and Future

You may find Narrative Therapy useful now or in the future as it can lead to greater happiness. We all have stories (narratives) about our lives and our past that hold us back, that prevent us from excelling or trying new things, from setting boundaries and perhaps also prevent us from being happy. The surprising thing is that most people are not aware of the stories we carry around on a repeat cycle inside our heads that may not be accurate, limit what we think we can do, may cause damage and are likely negative since we are more prone to remember those events. When you look at those stories and pull them out of the recesses of your mind, you can find meaning and value to then free yourself and no longer be held back. Often we develop stories without realizing it – stories of trouble, and unfairness but we neglect to adjust our stories to show what we’ve done to overcome challenges and hurt. We often overlook our steps to survive and how it made us stronger, gave us strengths and skills, plus we also benefit by writing what we should do to protect ourselves in the future.

Perhaps you will choose to use the below form to sort out the story you carry of your past, or maybe you will keep it for a future time to use it. I hope you find it of value, regardless, you now have the chance to rewrite your understanding of your past and write a new future for yourself due to your new insight.

The Past

Write the story of your past. Be sure to describe challenges you’ve overcome, and the personal strengths that allowed you to do so. Your life was not just a “Problem Saturated Story”.

The Present

Describe your life and who you are now. How do you differ from your past self? What are your strengths now? What challenges are you facing? What are you doing today to be happy and at peace?

The Future

Write about your ideal future. How will your life be different than it is now? How will you be different than you are now?

Use extra room. Write as much or as little as you want. This is your story – and your time to reinvent yourself if you want. I hope you find it useful.

-Providing in-office therapy, support, counseling and coaching for individuals and couples on a variety of issues (depression, anxiety, relationship concerns, grief and loss, addiction, self-esteem, memory loss, work-related issues, and more). Online therapy is also available. Based in Sausalito, Marin County, CA right off 101 w/ample parking.

Visit the below sites for more.
Author: Sharon Valentino, MFT
Valentino Therapy – CA LMFT, RAS, ChT, CATC IV (#51746)
Facebook: Valentino Therapy and Ask This Therapist
Pinterest: Ask This Therapist
Instagram: askthistherapist
Email: sv@valentinotherapy.com
Visit my web: www.valentinotherapy.com 

Some limited content from Therapy Aid

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Name It!

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Name It!

One thing that could help with your family, spouse, work, school, anything – is to learn to “Name It”.
Naming it just consists of just saying what you are seeing as soon as it makes you uncomfortable.
You say what you see, “Name It”, accuse no one of doing anything wrong or making them bad, telling what they should do differently and then you immediately walk away so that an argument can’t get started. Don’t stand there to argue or even hear their potential remark as you leave.

It might look something like this:
– That felt harsh.
– It doesn’t seem necessary to say that.
– This is making me uncomfortable. I’m going to take a walk.
– It wasn’t necessary to say that.
– When you speak like that it hurts me.
– When I’m pressured to do something it makes me resent you.
– I don’t respond well when someone argues (raises your voice, talks down to me, etc.)
– I hope our relationship isn’t damaged/ruined by this pressure.
– I wish I was treated in a way so that I’d want to ___.
(I’m sure you could come up with much better examples that suit your situation better.)

You are calling out something that isn’t very good, but you are only saying how it affects you, no blaming, no name calling, etc.
It is an excellent way to start setting boundaries without starting an argument.

Providing in-office therapy, support, counseling and coaching for individuals and couples on a variety of issues (depression, anxiety, relationship concerns, grief and loss, addiction, self-esteem, work-related issues, and more). Online therapy also available. Based in Sausalito, Marin County, CA right off 101 w/ample parking. 

Visit the below sites for more. 
Author: Sharon Valentino, MFT
Valentino Therapy – CA LMFT, RAS, ChT, CATC IV (#51746)
Visit my web: www.valentinotherapy.com
Facebook: Valentino Therapy and Ask This Therapist
Pinterest: Ask This Therapist

 

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Start 2019 Off Right

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Start 2019 Off Right – New Years Resolutions

Happy New Year.

This year you’ve been through a lot and there have been enough ups and downs to say it was a good year – or a bad year depending on how you choose to look back on it.
However, you are still here when some aren’t.
You are still able to help yourself and others, smile, be kind to a stranger, eat better, learn, grow and you are still able to count your blessing.
You are also so blessed to be able to tell everyone that’s still in your life – Thank You. I appreciate you.

If you are inclined to make Resolutions for the New Year… here’s a secret.
In order to be able to achieve them with much more certainty, instead of listing what you want to have or to do – list WHY.

Example: I want to lose 15 pounds.

Better: I want to live longer.

How:

  • Eat more produce
  • Move more
  • Count calories and nutrients
  • Find a sport/activity that is so fun it must be enjoyed.

What are your Resolutions?

Visit the below sites for a great deal of helpful information about a variety of subject.
Author: Sharon Valentino, MFT
Valentino Therapy – CA LMFT, RAS, ChT, CATC IV (#51746)
Visit my web: www.valentinotherapy.com
Facebook: Valentino Therapy and Ask This Therapist
Pinterest: Ask This Therapist

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Happy New Year!

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Happy New Year! 
What do you want this year to be? It’s up to you!

12 new chapters, 365 new chances.
May the next few months be a period of beautiful transformation.
More happiness. More love. More laughter. More sleep. Less stress.
More plant-based eating. More moving. More joy.
If you don’t like where you are, move.
If you don’t like how you are living, change it.
You are not a tree!
When we find a cause of value we believe in, our lives take new meaning and a whole new happiness and contentment become our daily companions.
I’ve never yet met a truly unhappy person who was paying rent through a worthy cause for the space s/he took up on this earth.
What is your cause – what is your passion?
What is your plan for 2019 to make your life what you want it to be?

Visit the below sites for a great deal of helpful information about a variety of subject.
Author: Sharon Valentino, MFT
Valentino Therapy – CA LMFT, RAS, ChT, CATC IV (#51746)
Visit my web: www.valentinotherapy.com
Facebook: Valentino Therapy and Ask This Therapist
Pinterest: Ask This Therapist

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New Years Resolutions

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There are 168 hours in a week.
40 or so for work.
56 for sleep.
72 left over.
And you really can’t find 3-4 hours a week to exercise?
1 hour to make healthy foods and drink?
1/2 hour a week to focus on gratitude?
Focus on what’s important this new year.

 

Visit the below sites for a great deal of helpful information about a variety of subject.
Author: Sharon Valentino, MFT
Valentino Therapy – CA LMFT, RAS, ChT, CATC IV (#51746)
Visit my web: www.valentinotherapy.com
Facebook: Valentino Therapy and Ask This Therapist
Pinterest: Ask This Therapist

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Emotional Intelligence

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Emotional Intelligence (During The Holidays)

The best part of Christmas is doing a little extra something for someone. What‘s your plan?

A big part of Emotional Intelligence is being able to feel an emotion without having to act on it.
When we use anything (exercise, TV marathons, food, alcohol, gaming, shopping, drugs, isolating) to numb our emotions, we might numb the negative emotions for a bit, but we also numb the positive emotions too.

Don’t ever say you are fine when you really need to talk about it, or shout, or say stop to someone – or say: Thank you, please check on me more often.

News flash: Most of your stress comes from how you respond, not what really happened or what didn’t happen. Adjust your attitude and response to a more neutral, accurate view and watch the stress and desire to medicate it drift away. How? Sit with your feelings a moment or a few. Then put a name to what you are feeling. THAT is what you need and what you are lacking. Go get it.

My life sure isn’t perfect but I’m grateful for everyone and everything I have. Thank you to you all!
One day you will definitely look back and realize that you worried too much about things that don’t matter.
There are so many beautiful reasons to be happy. What’s one of yours?

Visit the below sites for a great deal of helpful information about a variety of subject.
Author: Sharon Valentino, MFT
Valentino Therapy – CA LMFT, RAS, ChT, CATC IV (#51746)
Visit my web: www.valentinotherapy.com
Facebook: Valentino Therapy and Ask This Therapist
Pinterest: Ask This Therapist

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Holiday Self – Esteem

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Holiday Self – Esteem

The fastest and surest way to increase self-esteem is to commit estimable acts.

Every day. 

For others and then for yourself. (This has nothing to do with taking care of yourself first for survival. This is about helping others first as you go out in your day and then treating yourself.)

Jimmy Carter is 94. His wife is 91. They still actively build homes for people through Habitat for Humanity. He has never been concerned about building wealth, only about making a contribution since leaving the White House almost 40 years ago.

Happiness is precious. Happiness with ourselves is priceless.
Time is never wasted when doing something that makes you feel good about yourself.
So many people are challenged with self-esteem issues – or know someone who is struggling with them.
Research shows that most people are held back by self-esteem concerns a few times throughout our lifetimes.
When we give to others, we get out of our own way enough to get a different perspective on our lives.

Acts of Giving:
These acts can be as small as talking the time to speak to an elder in a grocery line, complimenting a child, holding a door or much bigger acts with higher rewards. The bigger the act, the bigger the reward often means you will meet others who may profoundly change your life, or develop needed to skills in dealing with people or maybe making valuable contacts among others who are doing good works.
Whenever you commit an estimable act, oxytocin is immediately released and you feel good.
This encourages you to do it more often, which causes you to feel better more often. I cannot repeat this enough.

Historically, the people I have treated in the past who are the most unhappy and the most anxious are those that are doing the least for others (and I’m not talking about their significant others).
Don’t let this be you 😉

Visit the below sites for a great deal of helpful information about a variety of subject.
Author: Sharon Valentino, MFT
Valentino Therapy – CA LMFT, RAS, ChT, CATC IV (#51746)
Visit my web: www.valentinotherapy.com
Facebook: Valentino Therapy and Ask This Therapist
Pinterest: Ask This Therapist

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